這一次 Shia LaBeouf 成了一個食人魔。一切起源於 2013 年音樂家 Rob Cantor 寫了一首 Actual Cannibal Shia Labeouf。2014 年，這首歌被改編成了舞臺劇並新加了一段歌詞。
You’re walking in the woods.
你漫步在森林中
There’s no one around,
週遭沒有任何人
And your phone is dead.
而你的手機不能用了
Out of the corner of your eye you spot him,
你的眼角餘光掃到了他
Shia Labeouf.
He’s following you
他緊跟著你
About 30 feet back.
隔著 10 公尺的距離
He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint.
雙手雙腳衝了過來
He’s gaining on you.
他要追上你了
Shia Labeouf.
You’re looking for your car,
你想找你的車
But you’re all turned around.
而你轉身過去
He’s almost upon you now
他就在你的上方
And you can see there’s blood on his face!
臉上的血跡清晰可見
My god, there’s blood everywhere!
天哪！到處都是血跡斑斑
Running for your life
為了你的小命快逃
(From Shia Labeouf.)
別讓 Shia LaBeouf 追上你
He’s brandishing a knife.
刀匕在你背後揮舞
(It’s Shia Labeouf.)
別讓 Shia LaBeouf 砍到你
Lurking in the shadows
潛伏在黑暗中
Hollywood superstar Shia Labeouf.
好萊塢明星 Shia LaBeouf
Living in the woods,
居住在森林中
(Shia Labeouf.)
Killing for sport,
殺戮即是運動
(Shia Labeouf.)
Eating all the bodies
吞噬所有屍體
Actual, cannibal Shia Labeouf.
食人魔 Shia LaBeouf
Now it’s dark and you seem to have lost him,
天色暗了下來，你似乎甩掉了他
But you’re hopelessly lost yourself.
但你也在森林中迷了路
Stranded with a murderer,
和殺人凶手困在一起
You creep silently through the underbrush.
你悄悄地鑽進樹叢底下
A-ha! In the distance,
啊！不遠處
A small cottage with a light on.
有間亮著的小木屋
Hope!
一線光明！
You move stealthily toward it,
躡手躡腳往小屋走去
But your leg! AH! It’s caught in a bear trap!
但你的腳！啊！被陷阱夾住了！
Gnawing off your leg,
強忍劇痛斷尾求生
(Quiet, quiet.)
不要大叫
Limping toward the cottage,
步履蹣跚走向小屋
(Quiet, quiet.)
不要出聲
Now you’re on the doorstep,
你佇在門階上
Sitting inside, Shia Labeouf.
坐在裡面的是 Shia LaBeouf
Sharpening an ax,
削磨著他的斧頭
(Shia Labeouf.)
But he doesn’t hear you enter,
忽略了你的闖入
(Shia Labeouf.)
You’re sneaking up behind him.
默默地來到他身後
Strangling superstar Shia Labeouf.
掐住明星 Shia LaBeouf
Fighting for your life with Shia Labeouf,
從 Shia LaBeouf 手中搶回你的小命
Wrestling a knife from Shia Labeouf,
從 Shia LaBeouf 手中奪得一把小刀
Stab it in his kidney.
直接刺向他的腰
Safe at last from Shia Labeouf.
終於獲得安全
You limp into the dark woods,
你跛著走進幽暗的森林裡
Blood oozing from your stump leg.
腳上的傷口淌著血
You have beaten Shia Labeouf.
你擊敗了 Shia LaBeouf
Wait! He isn’t dead! Shia surprise!
不！他還沒斷氣！Shia Surprise！
There’s a gun to your head and death in his eyes.
你的危機進逼你的眉睫，他的眼神預言他的死期
But you can do jiu jitsu… body slam superstar Shia LaBeouf.
但你會柔術...用你的身體重擊明星 Shia LaBeouf
Legendary fight with Shia LaBeouf.
和 Shia LaBeouf 之間的勱勇史詩級對戰
Normal Tuesday night for Shia LaBeouf.
對 Shia LaBeouf 而言的普通星期二夜晚
You try to swing an axe at Shia LaBeouf.
你試著把斧頭揮向 Shia LaBeouf
But blood is draining fast from your stump leg.
但你的殘腿血流如注
He’s dodging every swipe, he parries to the left.
他躲開每一揮，側向左邊去
You counter to the right, you catch him in the neck.
你傾身右邊來，鎖定了脖子
You’re chopping off his head now….
他的頭就要落地...
You have just decapitated Shia LaBeouf.
你斬了 Shia LaBeouf 的首
His head topples to the floor, expressionless.
他的頭顱掉落下去，面無表情
You fall to your knees and catch your breath.
你跪倒在地上，喘過氣來
You are finally safe from Shia LaBeouf.
你總算擺脫了 Shia LaBeouf 的魔掌
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